What I learned from Joe's preschool

Joe turned 5 in May, so he could go to kindergarten in the Fall. (Joe was enrolled in a preschool program at the elementary school that had half typical children and half special needs children.)  He would spend all day kindergarten in the special needs room with special needs kids. All of his IEP Team recommended this for Joe, since he was supposed to start Kindergarten in the Fall.
I asked his preschool teacher what she thought one day before school. She told me that it would break her heart to see Joe  in that room. She said that Joe was very bright and she was afraid that putting him in the room, with kids that were much worse than he was developmentally, would be detrimental to him.
HER WORDS HAUNTED ME….  I went against the IEP Team and decided to give him an extra year of preschool. The no dairy in his diet worked very well for him and he was making progress so an extra year of preschool wouldn't hurt. He was still behind kids his age anyway. This meant another year of half-day daycare and half-day preschool. Harder on me financially but better for my son.
I am forever grateful for that teacher's advice!
The next year, he had a new teacher. She had a different teaching style. She helped me understand that I needed to help Joe not be so rigid. He liked things a certain way and got upset when things were changed. Parents of autistic kids know how hard it is to deal with changes. This teacher was saying that we needed to get them out of their comfort zone. Let them have a fit about a toy or color but it is the only way they will learn to accept change. If she noticed that a child came in every morning and picked out the same toy to play with before class, then one day, that toy would be missing. This forced the child to try a new one. Her philosophy was that autistic kids are very rigid but won't be able to handle the real world if we cater to that trait. It was hard sometimes but it really was a big help over time in curbing the 'shut down mode' or break downs when things changed or were in a different order. As a parent, we all want to make things easy for our kids but I learned that having that mentality is really more harmful to children than helpful. I am not perfect about this but I have tried to remember this philosophy/advice.
Joe and I were very lucky to  have such wonderful preschool teachers that really knew how to help kids like Joe AND their parents!!

Joe's Mom